Lifespeaks

Posts Tagged ‘Access

English: Spanish Royal Crown

English: Spanish Royal Crown (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  Tonight, I have no lengthy, targeted post to hit you with. While I am preparing a couple of those to share with you all, and will be posting them soon-tonight I am simply sharing  from my heart while positioned in an awestruck state of being. You see I am overwhelmingly overwhelmed by God, and the work he is doing all around us.

But tonight I am being a bit selfish and taking a moment out to pause and extend to him my grateful heart for what he is performing in my life. You see, I have been “saved” a while now. I have been walking with God for a good, long  while and even in my failures, periods of falling away and misgivings I considered myself to know him pretty well. In my head I had a solid relationship with him because I did my level best to do the right things. I tried my hardest to keep myself straight and when I didn’t I knew what to do to get back in his good graces.

Many times,I’d refer to him within myself and to others as my Everything. However while with my breath I crowned him King, in my actions I dethroned him. GASP! Yes, I heard the collective grasp of my readership. You read it right, I dethroned him in my actions. How?

I am glad you asked. I dethroned him, by refusing to seek the very counsel of he who made everything, knows everything and is everything. I failed to seek everything, about, well, everything. In doing so I rendered him of no effect in my life. I walked alongside the blessing, goodness and mercy trailed me and I kept company with his favor-but I limited his ability to show himself strong in my life.

Is it possible to walk closely to someone and still not be connected with them?

Ask the troubled married couple, or the strained parents and their teenage children. it is indeed possible to walk closely with someone and fail to know them intimately;because you either never took the time to get intimate or at one point became intimate and stopped that process. When this occurs the relationship becomes stagnant and you go from a thriving relationship, to simply existing.

Over the last ten months I have been afforded the opportunity to experience a rebirth of sorts. The holy spirit has infiltrated my life in a way that he has not before. This new-found fellowship is not because he wasn’t there before, no, he has been walking with me all along. This level of fellowship is new to me, because while he was always there-I had not given him access to every room of my heart. I had not yielded to him the keys to each corridor of my mind. You see, he had not been invited to the secret caverns, and dusty dungeons of my soul. The places where I housed my unmet needs, unhealed hurts,and deferred hope.

.love is where the heart be

.love is where the heart be (Photo credit: ˙·٠•● Peter Nguyen)

This is where I threw my broken heart from being mistreated and handled incorrectly and inappropriately as a young girl. This is where I locked away the pain of being divorced and the doubt that knocked at my door daily just to tell me “There is no one out there for you”, “You are damaged and God forgot you.” These are the hiding places for my memorials to what was, what should have been and would have been if I had just…!

These places had not been revealed to the Holy Ghost because I was ashamed to allow him in, and truth be told I liked the familiarity of some of those rooms, caverns and corridors. They represented something I knew, when the world was pulverizing me with unknowns. Therefore they presented pseudo hiding places and dangerous safe zones. While I was smiling and giving life my all I was a bleeding train wreck, waiting to happen. The worst part was, I had no idea. The conversation I had with my mind said I was free. Then my mind told my heart I was delivered, and so my heart spoke to my soul and it breathed an enormous sigh of relief and whispered to the people under the stairs of my spirit; “Whew, that was close!” “We are safe.”

Those things took root and erected strongholds that navigated the ship of my life for years. Long story short, Jesus, the Holy Spirit was in the living room of my heart and we were having a good old-time. I served him, he received me, We talked and chatted, but I never gave him the tour-because it was a mess. And everybody knows when company comes over, you don’t take them around your spot unless it is spotless.

I had the eternal stain remover inside my heart, but would not let him look around and do his job. What a travesty! I realize I started this blog by saying it wouldn’t be lengthy, but the Holy spirit had other plans. Today I am happy to say that I can yield to those plans as he changes them. Why, because I have not only invited him in, but I have given him full access within me. The holy spirit is a gentleman. While he is a powerful force to be reckoned with-He will not force himself upon you. You must invite him in. Think for a minute, do you want  to force your friendship on others? OR do you want them to choose it?

Scripture challenges us in Duet 30:19 by saying this:

“I’m calling heaven and earth to give witness against you this day.I am offering the choice of life OR death. You can choose either blessings or curses. But I want you to choose life. ”

Powerful! The same rebirth I have experienced you can experience as well by choosing Life, by choosing to let him in your heart and show him around. I finally said holy ghost here it is, all of it. In that corner over there, is bitterness. Oh and Jesus, in the basement  of my heart way back in the junk room is immorality. And since I am showing you around, under my bed is defeat, in my closet is regret and up on the shelves over there, that is  unforgiveness of myself. After I let him in and showed him around and gave him complete reign, he became welcome and began to work. I have never known this kind of freedom, mercy,grace and favor-because I’d never embraced it like this before. I was my own worst enemy.

If you find yourself anywhere in the words that you read tonight, I encourage you to stop hiding and let him in. Yield to him every access, give him the key to every door and allow him to do what only He can do. I promise you, you will not regret it.

Blessings to you all!

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